Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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