Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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