scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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