If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
