I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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