Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
