If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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