We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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