This girl is more easily done than said...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
