Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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