i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
