She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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