I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i've created a new STD.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
