So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
