we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The power of my boobs compel you
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
