I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
