My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
