I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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