oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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