do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
