i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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