so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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