i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
