My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We are all done wearing pants today
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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