Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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