Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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