I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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