God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The air taste purple.
Randomize
