Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
