Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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