I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize