The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
