The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
