My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize