i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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