No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
