He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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