Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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