then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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