I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
