Walk of Shame. In a state park.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
