Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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