I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
