Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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