Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
