oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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