she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
