we have pet lesbian snakes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
