I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize