The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
People in love make me want to vomit
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
even my farts smell like vagina
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
