Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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