it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
