Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize