Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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