proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
