Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
