I seem to have left my pride at pride
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
