Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
this is an emotional support booty call
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
