I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
