i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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