I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
