I didn't shave. On purpose
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
