My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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