Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
